The dream that I had, of a lifelong companionship with you, came true on July 12, 2024… Yet, every day, a question lingers in my mind… Is this real? Is it truly happening..??? But yeah.. It is!!! 🥰
5years… कभी सोची नहीं थी मैं.. कि इतने लम्बे समय के बाद भी आपका प्यार मेरे लिए पहले के जैसा कायम रहेगा… 🥰 Thank you dearly for your unwavering love and care, even during our time apart, my lovable and respected husband.. 😘 Love you too.. ❤️❤️
4 मार्च, 2019, यानि महाशिवरात्रि के दिन हमने शिव जी और माँ पार्वती के सामने एक दूसरे को जोड़ लिया था और आपने मेरी मांग अपने सिन्दूर के आशीर्वाद से भर दिया था।
हमारी आत्मा तो बहुत पहले ही जुड़ चुकी थी। बस उस दिन आपने मेरा एक सपना पूरा किया था… आपसे ही सबसे पहले अपनी मांग भरने का.. क्योंकि आप ही सबसे पहले मेरे जीवन में आए थे और आप ही के लिए सबसे पहले मैंने खुद को पूरी तरह से समर्पित किया था। फेरों के सात वचनों से भी बंधा नहीं था ये शादी हमारा। पर मन का एक कोना हमेशा सचेत था और ये सोच कर काफी टूटा हुआ सा था कि आप किसी और के होने जा रहे थे तब, क्योंकि you were already engaged to someone before marrying me… 😢
Yet, that didn’t diminish my resolve to marry you, with only God’s grace. At that moment, it didn’t concern me whether you might return to her, or if our marriage would be kept secret from the world. Nor did I worry about whether I could endure the painful reality of your departure from my life after few days. What mattered most at that time, was the prospect of being your wife, even if only for a day or two… 🥰
Prior to the arrival of this fortunate and auspicious day on 12th July, 2024, we encountered numerous hardships and strokes of bad luck. Those five years were marked by many tough challenges.
After enjoying wonderful few days together since March 4th, 2019, we parted ways on March 30th, 2019. It was a deeply painful and heartbreaking experience to be away from you once and for all, but circumstances left us no other options.
Before delving into that period of our separation, let me first emphasize the journey from the day we first met. Our paths crossed unexpectedly in Bangalore. We weren’t friends or relatives, yet from that initial encounter, when we shook hands, instantly we felt a deep connection between us, one that has remained in our hearts secretly. Later, a tragedy brought us together as a couple.
We started sharing our life stories with each other that we never did earlier with anybody else.. You taught me so many things and I became an avid listener of your life stories and experiences. Countless hours were spent in conversation, mostly over the phone. We were getting deeply into each other… ❤️
You were battling a terminal illness and due to some unknown reasons, one day, suddenly you got severely sick and had to undergo a critical operation. Our circumstances had forced our relationship to remain hidden, making it impossible for me to reach out to you during that difficult time. Communication or visit was also not quite possible because you were staying in another state. So, I waited patiently for you, praying in my mind, for your well-being…..
Learning about your conditions and yet having compulsion of staying quiet and indifferent about it, torn me into multiple pieces. Being unable to visit you or to get any information about your health condition, I was getting devastated beyond words. Thus, I silently waited, constantly checking the last seen status of your number, nearly losing hope…..
However, one day, my waiting period was over and finally you reached out to me, nearly after a month or so. Your voice carried a tone of melancholy and detachment, and you were contemplating severing our connection because of uncertainty about your future. It almost gave me a heartattack because I started shivering heavily upon listening your decision and at at the same time, learning about your critical condition. My heart raced like never before. Losing you in anyway, was something I couldn’t withstand.…
I couldn’t bear the thought of letting you go for two major reasons. एक ये कि अगर सिर्फ फोन तक ही रिश्ता सिमित रहना है हमारा, तो इसके लिए डिस्कनेक्ट होना ना होना, लगभग एक जैसा ही है and
दुसरा ये कि I wanted to remain by your side as your wife, at least via phone, until death do us apart. कुछ नहीं तो जिंदगी के अंत तक एक दूसरे के दुख सुख ही शेयर कर लिया करेंगे.. I didn’t want you to leave this world without wife. Hence, I insisted that we hold onto our connection for as long as possible.
It seemed quite difficult to persuade you at that time. But eventually, you agreed because you felt my pain and hence gave in to my request. That’s how sweet, caring and loving you are. Love you a lot for that, my everything.. 😘😘
Thereafter, we committed to meeting at least once in our lifetime. You took charge of planning our first encounter. ये हमारा पहला मिलन था हमारे रिश्ते के शुरू होने के बाद का। That’s why, both of us were quite excited about it.
We met and visited Sri Sri Ashram where Naadi Parikshan was conducted. We chose that location because it meets both of our needs: you can get checked for any potential improvements in your health, and we can also enjoy some quality time together.
They examined you, and afterward, we spent some time there, living in the moment and cherishing each other’s company. Afterward, you returned home. Despite still dealing with many complications after your surgery, you chose to meet me, and hence I felt incredibly blessed and grateful to you. We both cherished the experience greatly but later felt sadness over our brief time together.
Several months went by, and we deeply missed each other’s company. You were gradually improving each day despite continuing health challenges. Our yearning to reunite grew stronger with each passing day, culminating in our second meeting again in Shri Shri Aashram, where I made few arrangements for cooking, o you won’t need to rely on eating out as much. Being inexperienced, I was unable to complete my mission and ended up doing nothing but popat.. 🤣
Again it felt too good to have each other’s company and couldn’t stop ourselves from meeting once more. This time we had even more fun than before. We met in Hyderabad and explored various places, creating unforgettable moments and capturing numerous photos together. Before boarding the train back to your place, you finally fulfilled my request for a hug and a kiss in railway station itself, fulfilling another one of my dreams. I found myself torn between happiness for this moment and sadness over our impending departure, as we believed this might be our last meeting.
Several more months went by. We talked over the phone on daily basis. But then one day, you tried to break up with me again for my sake, and shortly after, you shared the news of your engagement with your fiancé.
Your health was unstable but manageable, which led your parents to pressure you into marriage. Given the circumstances at home, it wasn’t the right time or decision for us to get married. Hence, you had to marry someone else. I was shattered by the news, but I convinced myself that I wasn’t worthy of you after all. I lacked the ability to handle and take care of you in a right way given your critical health issues. I fell short in almost every way, so I was certainly unable to give you the good life you deserve. Therefore, I reassured myself that everything that happened was for your well-being and happiness only, which is what I truly wish for, above all else..
However, I wanted to create a few more memories with you before leaving… So, I decided to visit you one last time and spend some quality days at your place, especially since no one else would be around at that time in Aurangabad. I wanted to show and pour on you my love and respect just like I would have given to my husband. Also, I wanted to take care of you before departing for good, since being alone at home during your busiest period at work could affect your health. With all this in mind, I made the decision and booked a train ticket.
I was on the train, heading to my husband… 🥰 Numerous thoughts flooded my mind throughout the journey. It was filled with both happiness and sorrow. The anticipation of reuniting with you thrilled me, while the thought of you spending your life with someone else away from me, after I left, was shattering my heart piece by piece. They say that with every situation, every choice you make, you get both good and bad outcomes. With this in mind, I chose to focus on the positive aspects for as long as I could.
You were equally thrilled to meet me and went out of your way to make my stay at your place as pleasant and comfortable as possible. After preparing everything and making sure everything was clean and ready for me at your house, you even made time and effort to come pick me up from the station. I was beyond happy … and seeing how happy you were to see me, made me feel relieved that coming to you was, after all, the right choice.😊
Even though you were engaged to someone else and would soon be starting a new chapter with her which should make my presence less significant, nothing could dampen your enthusiasm to meet and spend time with me. I was profoundly touched by your gestures and deeply moved by your kindness. You treated me like a queen, and despite your busy schedule and health challenges, you ensured that every moment I spent with you was enjoyable. It really felt like a dream to have the opportunity to be with you as a married couple, even if only for a few days…
As soon as we arrived at your home, you embraced me tightly, as if it might be our last hug. But after that, you gave me numerous such hugs and kisses which felt like heaven… From then on, we spent lovely 26 days together, just as I detailed in my other blog (which became so lengthy that I had to split it into two parts). 😅😅
ये तो हुआ आपसे अलगाव के पहले का सफर। आपसे अलग होने के बाद का सफर मेरी जिंदगी का सबसे मुश्किल सफर रहा। मैं उन खूबसूरत यादों को भुलाना नहीं चाहती थी। आपकी शादी के बाद, मैंने कई बार कोशिश की कि खुद को आपसे दूर कर लूं ताकि आप पर से अपना बोझ हटा सकूं और मेरी खुशी और भले के लिए आपको मुझसे जुड़ा नहीं रहना पड़े। और ये भी बात थी कि अब किसी और को आपके साथ देखना तो दूर, सुनना भी मेरे लिए मुश्किल होता जा रहा था।
Those 26 days were so dear and special to both of us that just thinking about them brings joy to my heart. But there was also pain in realizing that those precious moments lasted for just 26 days. I wanted to preserve every single moment of those 26 days somewhere so that, if for some reason I forget that time in the future, I would have a way to recall it and feel that happiness once again.
I also felt the desire to store my feelings connected to you somewhere, as I had never felt this way for anyone else throughout my life, nor do I think I ever could. That’s why the idea of writing a blog came to my mind. And since I had heard from you that those 26 days were among the best days of your life too, I kept writing those blogs and sending them to you on special occasions… 😊
Now back to the story…. So…. After coming from your house, I went straight to my parents’ house and decided not to go back to Bangalore. I didn’t even have the courage to think about my career, I was suffering from such deep depression. It was becoming difficult for me to study or do any work or chores even at home. Every now and then, I would cry or lie down on the ground and fall asleep. I was beginning to feel very lonely at times. Didn’t feel interested in anything. There was no peace anywhere.. 😔😪
Even after your marriage, you understood how I might feel once we parted ways, so you continued to support me by staying in touch and keeping the connection alive over the phone. Talking to you provided me some relief, though the same sadness would soon return. Your wife was beautiful, intelligent, and talented—she was a great match for you in many ways, and you loved her deeply. Yet, you still worried about me and never left me to face things alone.. Although, you could have easily moved on and let go of your feelings for me, but you were too compassionate to be so harsh with me or anybody else.. Hats off to you my love….
You nearly saved me from being completely shattered…
My parents had been searching for marriage prospects for years, but after falling in love with you, I chose to ignore all the other matches for time being, so I could spend a few peaceful years with you.. After you got married, some potential matches came to meet me, which made me start thinking about my parents and paying more attention to the matches. However, nothing progressed beyond that point.
On January 19, 2020, a match came to meet me, and somehow, they agreed to move forward. I reluctantly agreed to this arrangement, and then the pandemic hit. Despite everything, my engagement took place on July 24, 2020, and then I got married on December 11, 2020.
After our engagement, my fiancé began speaking with me over the phone, but I found it incredibly hard to let go of you. It was deeply painful and stressful to converse with someone other than you. My heart remained with you, and the stressful, threatening conversations with my fiance, only served to deepen my anguish over our separation. He often threatened to end our relationship if I didn’t meet his demands, which were quite immature and only added to the turmoil. We frequently fought over minor issues, and through it all, I realized the depth of your love for me. Despite my negative comments and behavior, you never raised your voice on me or degraded me.. Thus, amid the tension with my fiance, I missed you more and more…
After marrying my fiancé, I endured constant trouble, physical and mental torture as well as stress due to the mistreatment given by him and his family. Even when he genuinely expressed his love for me, I struggled to feel it deeply, despite my best efforts. Our perspectives clashed, and I struggled to understand them and fit in. Each day, the challenges eroded my remaining confidence.. Despite all this, you remained a constant source of support over the phone, even after my marriage with someone else.
Meanwhile, you, too, faced difficulties in your own marriage; your wife took your child and returned to her parents’ home, refusing to come back. Many other family problems started occuring at that time only. This left you dealing with depression and a significant loss of self-confidence. Additionally, your health, which had been gradually improving before, began to deteriorate once again.
I had to endure stress for mistreatments at my in-laws home and at the same time I was worried for your health and life as well. You were also into deep depression for years. You lost the ability to sleep.. Since childhood, you’ve faced numerous hardships and challenges. While you managed to overcome many of them, the recent major setback of being separated from your wife and child, coupled with your poor health, has deeply diminished your will to live.. Everything around us seemed to be falling apart.. Both of us were somehow living our lives. Despite the challenges, our phone conversations kept our love alive and provided some solace, helping us both stay resilient amidst the turmoil.
Finally, in 2023, there came a time when we both had to let go of our spouses. We had to go through divorce process (which is still on-going) because things went awry and out of control for us to handle and solve anymore.. 😔
But you became my knight in shining armor.. as usual.. and bring forth the idea of our reunion. You were incredibly lonely and depressed yourself, and your health was far from ideal. Despite this, you chose to face every hurdle and hardship that came our way, determined to reunite and build a life together in the future. I had many questions about this. How would it all work out? Would it be good for you? Were you marrying just for me, or for both of us? You said you would take charge for everything as long as my genuine consent is there for our marriage. Thus, our love gave us a ray of hope during that dark era of our lives…
This decision wasn’t as simple as it might seem. It required you to sacrifice one of the most significant parts of your life—your son, the very heart of your body and soul. Additionally, you had to legally separate from your wife before moving forward with me.
To convince my parents, it was essential for you to divorce your wife. After the immense betrayal and setbacks from my husband and in-laws, gaining their trust was incredibly challenging. The divorce left me shattered once more, but you stepped in to support me and held my hand, helping to prevent further breakdown.
We faced numerous challenges in making our dream of marrying each other a reality. You enlisted the help of your entire family members to convince my parents, involving extensive planning and strategy that kept us mentally occupied for months. Although we were torn because of the hardships of our lives and anxious about whether the plan would succeed, your unwavering determination drove us to make it happen. When you set your mind to something, nothing can deter you—that’s just who you are.. that who my husband is… love you for this also… 😘😊
They say that some love stories begin in extraordinary ways, fall apart, and then reconnect in the same extraordinary manner. Something similar happened with us. 😊 Our parents considered the railway station a safe place for us to meet and get to know each other before the wedding, since our marriage was to be kept hidden from the world and remain so until our divorce. Both families sent us to talk alone, and you took the opportunity to embrace me with so much love.. You even had tears in your eyes when we met again after such a long time… That’s how much emotional you are…. 😘
I didn’t feel much during the hug, but then I asked you for a kiss. You hesitated because there were people and cameras everywhere. However, you eventually gave me a quick peck on the lips, and that triggered emotions within me that had been buried deep down since our separation. I had forgotten many things between us, but my body and soul remembered that kiss—the first one I had ever received from you. 🥰
Following that meeting, we settled on a date and venue for our wedding. We chose the 12th, aligning with your birthday, and found that an auspicious day in July would be perfect. So, our wedding date was set for July 12, 2024. To keep things under wraps, we decided to hold the ceremony in the waiting room of a railway station. With the blessings of our parents and divine grace, the event was modest yet lovely. We cherished every moment and truly enjoyed the experience during our marriage.. 🥰
We began a new journey—a journey of love and togetherness. We’re no longer connected virtually, but in reality. Despite having to face numerous challenges, sadness, negativity, hardships, troubles, stress, and difficulties, we now have something we didn’t have before: Love! And because of this, we’re hopeful that together we can handle whatever comes our way… Once again, I must say that it is you who changed my perspective. Otherwise, I would still be quite worried and skeptical about it.
What seemed impossible, you made possible. You saved not just me, but indirectly or directly my entire family… Sonu, you are truly my hero.
Shiv ji and Durga Maa also played a significant role in our reunion. When we look back and view everything from different perspectives, we see that our meeting in such an unexpected way was part of a divine plan, giving us hope to survive and navigate through this difficult time in our lives.
Thank you, my love, for all the blessings you’ve given me since we first met. None of this would have been possible without your hard work, determination, and unwavering efforts and genuinely true love for me. Most importantly, it’s your true love that has made everything worthwhile. All the doubts I once had about your love have been put to rest. I see now that your love was always true—more true than I ever realized. Despite the adversities that made me lose hope in our reunion, your faith never wavered. It was always you who stayed positive about our meeting.
I understand that things can never return to the “normal” we once knew from other people’s experiences. There will always be complications, and no matter how much we try to ease our pain from life’s losses, we can never fully overcome or fix it. Complete healing isn’t possible. We must now live in this broken state and, by showing a little love to one another, make our lives meaningful. We need to fulfill our responsibilities towards our loved ones. Thats’ the only goal we have now for our lives because nothing else matter anymore to us. Let’s be each other’s strength and try to fulfil it together…
It’s your birthday patidev ji… I chose to write this today, because that’s what our main intensions were, behind choosing 12th as a date for our wedding.. Also, I wanted to thank you for all that you have done for me till now..😊 Because of the things you told me regarding your birthday, we can’t celebrate it. But I wish all the positivity in your life from today onwards… May your happiness never fade and continue to grow manifold… Dil se dua hai apko jaan mere..😊
❤️❤️ Apke liye koi gift kya hi du.. but ek baat aaj kahna chahungi aapse.. I might not have the talents, intelligence, or expertise that others might have, but there is one thing I can promise you for the rest of my life: unwavering lifelong companionship. No matter the distance or circumstances, I will always be by your side, now and forever!! ❤️❤️
Happy Birthday Sweetheart.. Love you. ❤️
Letter To You My Husband 